South on 275

Another contribution recently. Also, Grandma, again, turn off the computer.

1. Fart. A lot. Just get it all out. But like a lady, so curtsy a little.

2. Bleach lady holes.

3. Eat a lot of pineapple and kiwi because we read somewhere that those fruits make our lady twats taste yummy.

4. Practice fellatio on carrots. All ladies do this all of the time.

5. Nothing. We are ladies. You just want to fuck us.

POST DETAILS:
Posted on January/31/2012
Tagged as: the metrics, top five,
Originally Posted by: themetrics Reblogged From: themetrics

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codieleiker reblogged this from themetrics and added:

Another contribution recently. Also, Grandma, again, turn off...computer. themetrics:
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themetrics posted this

Codie Leiker is a writer with a knack for pop culture references and an obsession with Mike Rowe. Most days you can find her stumbling her way throughout the Loess Hills, watching trashy reality television, and drinking Big Gulp-esque rum and cokes on her front porch. Also, please, don't ever try to feed her. She bites.

You can find her fictional letters project, The Mickey Mouse Diary, at codieleiker.wordpress.com.

She also contributes to the disgustingly funny blog, The Metrics, at themetrics.tumblr.com.

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