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Top 5: Things I Did Last Night Instead of Having Sex Because I Am an Idiot

One of my latest contributions to The Metrics. Sorry, Kevin, I’ve been quiet for awhile. Also, Grandma, if you’re reading this, just turn off the computer now and don’t turn it back on for, like, a week.

themetrics:

1. Ate several undercooked brownies as the frosting for week-old cake.

2. Watched South Park. Naked.

3. Did some lunges.

4. Pulled out a really long chin hair with my fingers after about 30 minutes because I was too lazy to walk 10 feet to get the tweezers.

5. Masturbated to Jewel’s “You Were Meant For Me” before falling asleep.



POST DETAILS:
Posted on January/31/2012
Tagged as: the metrics, top five,
Originally Posted by: themetrics Reblogged From: themetrics

POST NOTES:
  1. codieleiker reblogged this from themetrics and added:
    latest contributions...The Metrics. Sorry, Kevin, I’ve been quiet for awhile. Also,...
  2. themetrics posted this


Codie Leiker is a writer with a knack for pop culture references and an obsession with Mike Rowe. Most days you can find her stumbling her way throughout the Loess Hills, watching trashy reality television, and drinking Big Gulp-esque rum and cokes on her front porch. Also, please, don't ever try to feed her. She bites.

You can find her fictional letters project, The Mickey Mouse Diary, at codieleiker.wordpress.com.

She also contributes to the disgustingly funny blog, The Metrics, at themetrics.tumblr.com.

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