At the Laundromat
I decided to drive back to Iowa to do laundry. I did that to buy groceries, too. Somehow, I’ve rationalized that this is more convenient. Case in point: they have working coin machines in Iowa. They have 24-hour Laundromats in Iowa. I have no problem venturing out-of-state for these reasons. I also tell no one of my actions for these reasons. They have flat-screen televisions and snack bars...
On a hot summer night
Awkward silences came naturally. We were so full of what we wanted to say, yet lacked the courage to release it from our lips. Instead, he took my hand in his and looked into my eyes. He was calm, his brow softening. He even looked happy. His grip was gentle like his gaze and we sat like that for awhile letting the sweat bead down our necks and the bugs crawl up our legs.
Summer: fuck off.
So I was an unsuccessful grown-up this afternoon. Big deal that I threw in the towel after 20 minutes. Listen, I can do loads of other things. I, believe it or not, can heat canned food. I can walk my dog. I can mop the floor. Just don’t ask me to find a Laundromat with a working change machine in 95 degree heat in the middle of July. My car’s air conditioning is about kaput and I don’t smell very...
I read something hilarious and instead of cackling wildly as usual, I actually thought “laugh out loud” in my head. I hate myself.
OK, I don’t really make goals because usually when I do I turn into this little self-destructive nut bag and destroy my hopes and dreams usually with alcohol, Real Housewives, men, and Amazon.com. However, a change is a comin’ cats, so I have made a few “life goals” and please refer to that term loosely because I change my mind too often. In no particular order, here they...
Is that a grey hair?
Why are there so many people born between 1992-1995 on here? Shouldn’t y’all be dancing to S Club 7 somewhere?
Why am I singing songs by Linda Ronstadt, Bonnie Raitt, Susan Tedeschi, Grace Potter, and Janis Joplin in front of my mirror like I am lighting up a goddamn stage? Oh, yeah, that’s right … because I am a fucking rockstar.