You know you don't have the stomach of a wild,...
My sister, Casey, and I are comparing eating woes. We thought it nothing back in those glorious days of childhood to down an entire bowl of brownie batter without so much as making a brownie. We blindly gorged on hot pockets, McDonald’s french fries, and PopTarts. Halloween was like a damn bat mitzvah. We’d eat the candy in between blocks and every inch of our cupboards and pantry...
When I grow up, I wanna be just like you.
I read somewhere that girls who lie around in panties and a tank top are incredibly sexy, so now I lie around in barely-there cottons and laces and I wistfully kick my feet in the air as my super hot Stuart Townsend-esque boyfriend walks into the room, half-surprised, half-smitten as he looks me up and down and decides that he cannot stand to be away from me a moment longer. This is the part...
4th and Hazel in June
Big frontal clouds move in from the north. Dark ones with white tops billowing toward the blue night sky, they move slowly with the setting of the sun. I can feel the moisture in the air, the dampness cling to my hair and shoulders. Scorching hot all day and now so cool you’d mistake the air for spring. It will be a loud storm. The thunder will shake the hills and awaken the children in the...
Seamless: Interview with Codie Leiker →
Oh hey guysssss, it’s my interview … read? Yay! seamlessmagazine: What first sparked your interest in writing? I’d have to say that it’s always been a part of me, this innate desire to just write it all down and create some kind of understanding for myself and for others. There was never a time when I wasn’t writing or creating. It has always felt very…
Top 5: Gender-neutral baby names to give to your...
My latest contribution to The Metrics. Check it out, yo! themetrics: 1. Aloe 2. Forks 3. Sega 4. Iota 5. Zinfandel
Sarah Palin Quotes (by teenage girls)
It’s official, kids. Vince is moving back to the big O. And, even more exciting, we are finally getting our writing group out of our heads and mouths and off the ground. And, now, the world premiere of: The Periods. We are the weekly writing group with random meet-ups (more than likely bars) in the Omaha area and we will perform biweekly at SYMO at The Hideout. Of course, this won’t start...
They like me! They really like me!
So folks, I just found out that I am getting published thanks to Matchbook! Awhile back I submitted ad stories for their experiment with Google, and it turns out they liked two of them. I am fucking stoked!!
keep your eyes on the screen: Move over, Bronx... →
Varn and Wap for the win! yourbabyisfugly: Codie and I play this game via text message where we see who can come up with the most obnoxious baby names. Every so often, a combo of awful names stick in my head and I start daydreaming. Leopold Sebastian Leber has a nice ring to it. My baby boy’s nickname will be Butters and none of the other kids will get it because their parents don’t let...
What's Your Worst Date in Six Words? →
Oh, here’s a lovely list. I should stop dating. Called me an asshole after drinks. Put his head on my shoulder. Asked me to drive - no license. Took me to Wal-Mart, enough said. Said every ex was a psycho. Tongued during a Robin Williams movie. I puked in his front seat. Texted his ex the whole time. He asked, “Want to touch it?” Put his penis on my shoulder. ...
Bro 1: Hey man, how's it goin'?
Bro 2: Oh, nothin' man, just about to fax the mother of all expense reports right here.
Bro 1: (raises palm to initiate high five sequence) Nice, bro. Catch that game?
I'd like to think that I did horribly at my interview because I have so little experience with interviews and I tend to freeze up and/or stutter when talking to strangers. (In this wonderful case, three people got to witness both of those ticks.) However, perhaps overhearing this brilliant water cooler chat just moments before walking into that room only reaffirmed my dread for the corporate atmosphere. The cubicle lifestyle is not for me, especially if high-fiving is the key to communication.
I'm a student again ...
Well, sort of. Tuesday I start my Travel Writing course through mediabistro.com, taught by the lovely Stephanie Elizondo Griest (her blog here). I am so excited! I wanted to take a travel writing course in college, but I could never fit it in and was sad to walk away without the opportunity to venture down that path. I have many little snippets and unfinished products about the Loess Hills and...
I’m listening to the “never say never” soundtrack and...– Vincent, on one of his many Bieber musings. I can only hope he’ll wear the wolves in profile tee I got him to the Selena concert.
Linguistics is the language of butt babies - Codie...
yourbabyisfugly: Codie: It’s called Infixing. But that applies to when it’s in the middle of a word like infuckingdeed. Me: Right, obviously I learned a lot in that class. Codie: Haha, who are you trying to impress? - I’ve only been out of school 2 years and I’ve already have to text my best friend to remember basic vocabulary from my degree program. In my defense, it was an 8 am class and the...